cbox

♥ Florence, over-hyperactive. I (L) eating chocolates, and I'm a klutz,as well as a trouble-maker :D I'm fourteen, and July the 15th would be awesome. I love being cheeky and childish. That's the part of me that'll never grow up. I have a mind of a five-year-old and I love putting a smile on people's faces. So if you're down, I'm always here. Netball's my passion, and I'm loving it. I'm hoping for fairytales and miracles to happen ^^. I may be naive at times, but you can't cheat me. Currently attached with baby♥, and still counting on. I'm tremendously spontaneous and hyperactive most of the times. I love sweet things, they simply melt my heart. Equal Equation, L'ove.

Some distance I can't close, 
                                 Some pace I can't keep up.


back to top?

back to top?

You make me dance like a fool,
                                   forget how to breathe.

Hey all ! I'm back from the hectic week. Oh man, its been so tiring, really. I don't know how long I can withstand another week. Well, truth be told, I've been having hectic schedules for the past few weeks, so yeah. I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense, because I don't. So, go figure. I;ve decided to change the way I'm writing, I don't know why. I'm simply being random now, I think I'm having moodswings! That's a bad sign, seriously. Alrights, I shall post a proper post about this week. It feels so short man, I wonder how next week will feel like, with Tuesday being a holiday and Monday being a halfday.


240809`Monday.

Had swimming after school, didn't swim because of personal reasons ^^. Girls stufffff :D 
L'ove didn't swim toooooo, he claims he wants me to teach him Chinese. And also, he said he's tired and his leg hurts and stufffffffff. Did some exercises, Jumping Jacks, Push-ups, and other stuff, I forgot. Was tiring, as we had to do three sets. My knee was hurting like hell. After that, L'ove and me studied, in a way. We took out all the homework and stuff, and wanted to start doing Chinese, when he eventually got fed up with within minutes. And yes, I ended up doing his work, haaaaaaaahs. But yeah, I got a reward from him in return ^^. Heeees, after swimming, went with L'ove to our favourite place :D Slacked, chatted, had fun. Went home after that, not before going into Seng Siong to buy chocolates to eat. We were both hungry yeah. Went home after that, was tired. Studied for the Geography test till 12am in the night. Tiring ehs, L'ove accompanied me through out though :D Though he was tired too. Today was probably the happiest day I've felt. Because L'ove and I were planning and talking about stufffffs. Haaaaaahs, he's so cute xD Aw, this day's been burning fresh in my mind. And at night, he promised me and said some super sweet and touching stuff which I din't expected him to. Haaaaaaahs, iloveyou :D


250809`Tuesday.
Had training after school, L'ove was complaining how I'm abandoning him for training. Haha. Sent him to the gate, cause he claimed that its the least I can do, so yeah. Had to walk all the way back just for him, haha^^. At night, something happened to L'ove. It was a emotional moment. I teared up in the middle of studying for the Science test. Stayed up till 12am in the night again, with me and L'ove comforting each other about the cruelties of life. I felt sorry, because I couldn't cheered L'ove up. But I was feeling so stressed too, ugh. I suck at things like balancing. Because with trainings and work, I can't balance. I think I cried myself to sleep, as I felt so emotional, like a tear-down.


260809`Wednesday.
 Went with L'ove after school to our favourite place again. Had a heart-to-heart talk with him. He was still upset about what happened to him last night. He was venting out from the school gate all the way till we reached the place. And all I could do was listen, of course. Haaaaaaahs, he looked so cute when he's throwing a temper. Of course, he'd laugh at times at my reaction. Then he'd continue being angry at life. He was upset, and I couldn't cheer him up. Tried hard, and in the end I succeeded. At night, I had another emotional breakdown. Felt so guilty and bad that I dragged L'ove down by affecting him with my sadness. He comforted me, I cheered up. And then I had to comfort him after that, haaaaaaaaahs. Its like vice versa. Studied late into the night for Math test again. Super stressed up and tired. Mrs Teng wasn't helping either. By adding a 300 word essay and two worksheets to the mountain of homework I still have left.

270809`Thursday.
Had training after school, was super hyper and spntaneous. Miss Liyana, the new teacher, came.
Training started a little late, as everyone was practically late. Haaaaaaahs, I dragged the seniors down to the floorball filming as I din't want to do. I wanted to train. And so yeah, Natasha, Celine they all had to goooooo. Haaaaaaaaahs. Ran 20 rounds around the whole parade square. I could shoot so well that day! From far or near, I could shoot in! Which was kind of superb ^^.
Haaaaaaahs, then saw L'ove. He was having rehearsal at the hall. He was looking down when we were training. Heeeeeees, then I saw him dance. At the side of the hall, along with the rest of the people^^. Haha, he looked so cute. After that, he said he's waiting for me till my training ends. Something happened after that, upsetting L'ove again. I think I didn't express myself well. I shall do better next time. Sorry L'ove. He was practically upset man. I felt so guilty. Didn't spend the night up today, but didn't study either. Was writing 500 lines^^. My finger still hurts. 

280809`Friday.
Was almost late today. Bus was super packed, hence slowing down the travelling time pace. Was hesitating on the bus, if I should alight and take the cab to school, or should I just continue taking the bus. It was 0730 hours when I was decided. Couldn't bear to go through detention. But in the end, I wasn't late. I was still early in fact. So much for panicking yeah. Went in to class, L'ove was lying down on two chairs. He looked up when I entered, and looked at me with this look. Hahs, it made me smiled. Then I gave him the 500 lines I wrote. Yeah, I spent the night writing 500 lines of I'm sorry, P.S. I love you, for him. Aw, the look on his face was priceless. Practically, from what I could see, he was touched, in a way. Just that he didn't show. I think he didn't think I'd write something as much as 500 lines I think. I was going for a 1000 lines, but yeah. Was too tired to stay up again, so yeah. And then, he came over and gave me a hug^^. In a way. And he used SH's phone to send me a iloveyou. Haaaaaaaaahs. He cheered up after that, and then we talked about our plans for the later part of the day. Went to our favourite place again after school. You know, we were wearing the same tee. The camp tee, which I didn't expect he would wear. We didn't plan it, but yeah, we still did. Dumped our bags in school and headed to the place. I didn't talk to L'ove through the whole journey there. But he was. Haaaaaaaaahs, I was pretending to be mad at him for saying stuff about me that I knew he was joking about. But still, he used my silence and kept trying to make me talk with threats. Haha, but I didn't give in. All I could do was smile/laugh, while he continued his talk. I finally gave in when we reached the place and he started tickling me so vigorously that i almost fell. Then when I became silent again, he started the whole thing again. Funny huh, hahs :D Had fun, we played and chatted and did stufffffffs ^^. At around 1400 hours plus plus, we went off back to school. He rushed for his CCA. I had to treat him chocolate. He'd be the luckiest guy in the world, with me treating him all the time :D Haaaaaaahs, and then he started teasing me again. And smiling to himself, & having the smug face on again. I made him tell me the reason why, haha. Had another heart-to-heart talk. Aw, I'm loving them. Its fun, really. Seeing different opinions and expressions coming from each other. After that, he went for his CCA. I went to find Hannah and the others. Hang out with Hannah, and played shooting for awhile. Walked around after that, and then she wanted to go help out with the banner already. Found ShiLi, chatted, and played ball with Mistika after that. Had fun, stopped, cause it was tiring. Went to carry the banner to the hall afterwards, and then slacked at the hall. Everyone was so emotional man. Its been a long day, to be true. L'ove came after his CCA, and then we started joining the emotional people. Everyone was like dead. They were all lying on the floor of the hall, tired and worn out. We all lied down in a circle, Bila, Atikah, Rasyid, me & L'ove. Haaaaaahs, it was so coooool. After that, L'ove went to play with the mike, and started talking nonsense. Wetn backstage with him after that. Haaaaahs, I love the ladder there ! So cool larhs ! Kept climbing up and down. Played with L'ove. He sang to me Love Story, or rather, only one verse. Haaaaaaaahs, he promise to sing to me the whole song on our anniversary ! :D Heeeeeeeeees^^. Sang with him the song, he didn't dare to look at me. Till the part where Romeo asked Juliet to marry him. Haaaaaaahs, it was super super sweet ehs ! <3 Had a memorable and fun day today! Played with the kittens after that, they were so cute ! :D Then I asked L'ove to dance with me round the hall. Haaaaaaaahs, we danced for lesser then a few seconds, and Mistika shoke her head at me. Haha, so fun <3  Went to Macs with L'ove after that. Ate and then went home. Was so tired, watched a happy ending in a serial show. It was so nice, but I was hoping for it not to end so quickly. 
L'ove's not replying me yet. I'm worried, something probably happened, because this don't usually happen. I think he fell asleep, haaaaaaaahs. Alrights, I shall end off here. I've been posting for so long now. About one or more hours. Its 2220 hours already ! I shall go do something else now, like planning where to go with L'ove on Monday. Probably watching The Proposal and then watch the sunset at the beach or something. He forced me to plan ! :D Alrights, I shall go off. Till here then^^.
 ♥, xoxo.

P.S. I love you ^^.
back to top?

                               In my heart I still believe.


I'm bored. And as far as I'm concern, this is my third post of the day already.
I just studied for the whole afternoon already. And now, I'm dead bored.
L'ove messaged me just now, saying that his camp has ended.
He was asking me if I wanna go out to meet him, 
because he wants to see me.
Sigh, but I can't.
He was disappointed, I'm sorry.
I'm waiting for him to message me later on, because he's probably resting now.
He must be dead tired, as he sounded so sad through the messages.

Its 1604 hours in the late afternoon.
Gonna go buffet later on, its on I guess.
Dad was being so indecisive and kept irritating me today.
I bought my new stationaries already ^^.
Mum was nagging at me about having so many pens.
Well, they've ran out of ink, but she doubts it.
As she claims that I buy them all the time.
I'm feeling so bored.
I have nothing to do.
Felt like continue studying, but didn't have the mood.
Sigh... L'ove, I need you right now.

I should probably go entertain myself by playing some games,
or watching television and stuffing myself with snacks^^.
That suddenly sounds like an awesome idea :D
& My shoulders are still aching ehs.
♥,xoxo.

P.S. I love you.
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Spluttering heartbeat, 
                           as you move closer.

I decided to settle on this skin, because it sort of fits me.
In a way, and its nice.
I won't change to another skin for now, because I really like this one.
Heeeeeeeees, I miss L'ove.
♥,xoxo. back to top?

Six pages down, I wrote your name.
                                         In my heart, I engraved it.

I don't know what to write, haha.
I've been backspacing everything I write for the past one minute.
I din't know how to start this post, because I thought I'd start with something new.
But I didn't, so yeah. Face it, ugh.

Its Sunday, 1025 hours into the morning.
I miss L'ove.
He texted me last night, using some other people's number,
telling me that he misses me and loves me.
Aw, hahs, I was touched ^^.
But he didn't reply afterwards, so I think he was busy already.
He should be back from camp today.
I haven't talked to him for two days, meaning that loads of things are missed out.
Haaaaaaaaaahs, I think the moment he's back, we'd be like kids,
playing and kidding on the phone and comparing how much we've missed each other.
Haha. Please come back quick, L'ove.


I'm having cramps, which is torturing me.
The first thing in the morning is cramps.
And I can't eat anything down now, although my stomach's grumbling.
Because I simply lose my appetite looking at the food.
Oh yeahhhhhhh! Dad's bringing the family out for buffet today again ^^.
Wheeeeeeeee. Heeeeeeees, I was so looking forward to a buffet.
I think I've lost weight over the stress, or not.
Hahs, either way, I still wanna eat.
But maybe I'm not going too, because it might be a crab buffet.
And ! When its a crab buffet, I'd lose control.
And eat ten big plates of crab non-stop like last time,
and I had this big pulse on my leg, ugh.
I remembered that experience, its super super scary.
So yeah, I'd probably consider if it is a crab buffet.


Dad still owes me a Nike handbag that I've been eyeing for the past weeks.
He won lottery for three days in a row in one of the last few weeks.
He said he'd buy for me, but we've never gone out yet, psssssssht.
Kenny still owes me thirty bucks.
I need to buy presents soon, but he said he'd return me next month ! 
Hahs, I'd probably just bug him and get nagged at, but I'll get my way :D


I just realised something ! Benny & Zhi Min are fans of Wang Lee Hom too ^^.
Haaaaaaaahs, I just found out yesterday, when we were playing songs in tuition.
And ZhiMin & RuiSheng became my parents, mum and dad.
Beng was teasing me about having the most spontaneous genes of all.
And was dragging this topic into the future me of having kids, and how my kids would be like.
Psssssssssssht, crap :D


I'm feeling emotional.
Haaaaaaaaaahs, happy...yet... there's another feeling I can't describe.
I'm probably just lovesick.
I have been having weird dreams lately.
Ugh, I hate it when these weird dreams get me.
Especially the one on Friday night.
It freaks me out now that I think about it.
I'm comtemplating if I should tell L'ove.
Because I don't know what he'll think or say.
Mmm, when the topic comes up then I'll see.


Alright, I shall end off the post here now.
I wanna go eat my peanuts ^^.
I'm not supposed to eat them, but yeah.
L'ove would probably scold me when he hears about it.
My sore throat's still not recovered yet.
And I want my old phone back ! I need the contacts ! 
Hope it repairs faster faster faster.


Oh yes! Random pictures are coming up^^.
And my shoulders aching.
 Me & Atikah. I'm the one in blue, as you can see.
We were physcos man^^.







                                          
Heeeeeeees, enjoy :D back to top?

♥,xoxo.





back to top?

I look retarded. I tied my fringe up with the rubber band and left it standing. Haaaaaahs. I was laughing during the National Day speech !
At the dinner. Dad was sitting opposite me, that's why.
With his cheeky faces and childish plays. Everyone was having fun too ^^.





Took during F&N. There was no teacher around.
Haaaaaaaaahs, ZC and HL were oblivious of course ^^.
My hair looks retarded. Because it was still short at that time. Boooooooo.<3












 ♥,

  back to top?

Baby, don't go out tonight.


160809`Sunday.

Went for Netball CIP in the early hours in the morning.
Aw, I can tell you.
For those who never went, you've missed a one in a lifetime opportunity or so.
God, when I looked at those people play, I was like, feeling down.
Sort of, well, due to many reasons of course.
And when I saw them play, I could see what I lack right now, as in my Netball skills.
Punggol CC played the best, to me, of course.
I don't know if they're all girls, but they're definitely older then us.
Probably alot more older, I don't know.
Some of them looked like guys, which is kind of funny.
I was trying to figure them all out man, which is a tiring process !
Anyways, the way the GA played for the rebound of the shooting was awesome !
He/ She jumped SO high.
Gosh, and all the shooters were very good.
There was another team, which consisted of middle-aged people, I think.
( Some of them had white hair, already old. Sorry ! But yeah, I don't know how to explain.)
Anyways, they played awesomely too yeahs ! 
They won lots of games too !
At one of the games, they versus Punggol, one of them fell down.
I was like Ouch ! I felt so painful for her larhs !
It was seriously heartbreaking to see a older adult falling down in front of you,
and you can just watch but do nothing at all, as the game continues.
Seriously, it haunts you.
Anyway, Punggol won, so yeah.
I had fun taking scores for the teams.
Atikah and Hannah had fun flipping the scores I guess.
I liked the lunch :D Nasi Lemak. I think it was because I was hungry or something.
But it was spankingly delicious :D
Haaaaaaaaaahs.
After that, went back to Bedok.
Met L'ove, waited for him for one hour and twenty minutes with Bila !!
He went to Suntec just to buy his snake toy, and then came back to meet us :D
Hahs, so sweet.
Anyways, we talked and then went to slack after that.
Reached home late, dad was mad, practically.
At night, went to eat at AMK there, then shopped around.
Super super full ! Had fun with Kenny.
He couldn't resist smiling when I'm with him ^^.
That's it for Sunday then, the weekends are over and done, tragically.

170809`Monday.



180809`Tuesday.

Had training, Physical Training.
Miss Lim took us, it was super niceeeee ;D
But I was feeling down, due to some stuff of course.
Heeeees, played with medicine balls, then threw the netball.
It felt like air ! Miraculously. But after awhile, it felt the same again.
Hahs, I did something, probably no one tried before.
I shot the medicine ball into the netball hoop ! :D
Heeeeees, I scored, awesome achievement ehs.
Was so proud of myself of course ^^.
After training, rushed home as usual.
Wanted to watch the 1900 hours show, but missed the first part.
Ate dinner, chatted with parents.
Dad's getting more and more childish each day, I swear.
He's acting like a 5 year old, which is ironic, really.
Mum scolded him. Hahs, because he spends his time MAPLING.
Can you believe it ? Anyhoo, he's level 81 now, so yeah.
Awesome Dad of all times :D


190809`Wednesday.


Okays, I think I forgot what I did on Wednesday.


200809`Thursday.

Had training after school.
Before that spent some time in class convincing L'ove about something impossible.
He was upset, of course. Particularly.
Now I know how he feels, and he knows how I feel.
Anyhoooo, tried my best to cheer him uppppp ! :D
Heeeeeees, anyway, training was awesome.
Shot in 50 goals with Natasha^^.
Oh yeaahhhhh, 50 goals ehs.
Coach was playing with us for the last few shots.
Haaaaaaaah, and I was singing for water ! 

I think I'm getting addicted to him like a drug now.


210809`Friday.

Lessons were interesting today, hahs.
Science was awesome, as we did an experiment that involves fire :D
Then Literature was interesting, as we read an article about a sadistic mother of a baby.
I felt so much pity for the baby larhs ! 
I seriously can't imagine a mother, killing / abusing her own child.
Its so sad for the child ! 
Anyways, went to L'ove's house again, discussed, chatted and did stuff.
Went back to school after that, as he had Council and cca.
I went back to school too, as I asked Rasyid to wait for me.
Stayed till quite late, played ball after that.
Went off with L'ove to Macs, then went to find the guys. 
Bus-ed home with Rasyid, he scared me totally with this sick sick look.
Ugh, I think it'll haunt me for the rest of the day.
Reached home, kinda late.
Dad was childish, again.
Asked me some lame stuff, and then laughed on his own.
Haha, physcotic Dad.
But still, he's awesome.
I'd still want him as my dad if I had another choice in the next life :D
Though I'd like to change some of his character of course, which is not ideal.
Haaaaaaaaaaahs.
Alrights, I've been posting for about more then an hour already.
I'm busy helping L'ove with his F&N now.
He has no printer,so yeah.
I should go off now, and listen carefully to him, like he said.
Haha, till here then.
Love,xoxo.

I'll miss you L'ove...
Have fun at camp.
And please take care,
I love you.
♥,


back to top?

This would probably be the second post of the day.
Just came back from tuition about 10-15 minutes ago.
Was very very distracted and happy at tuition just now.
What, with the company of people.
Practically, they're all guys yeah, so yeah.
We were all talking about nonsensical stuff with Benny.
Aw, he's awesome, seriously.

L'ove is out on some dinner right now.
It would have probably ended.
I didn't meet him, because I figured I wouldn't be allowed.
So yeah, we're probably meeting tomorrow.
Ah, I miss him.
And I just sent him like a long message venting about my life right now.
I'm a dirty mess, my life's...Not on the right track right now...
What am I really supposed to do ?...
Everything was alright, before YOU came along...
And I've been hidden from things for so long.
And you didn't tell me too...
How long were you intending to hide it from me?...
Sigh...Or did you felt that there wasn't a need to?..
Where did the compromise gone now...

To be frank, L'ove and I have been arguing over stuff...
Over YOU. I've cried over the stuff of YOU too.
I don't know how to face this anymore.
Should I escape from it, or should I face it?
Either ways, I'll never be happy.
I can't be holding hands between us three and saying everything's alright.
Everything I say or put on, on my face is fake now.
I have to ACT to be happy.
I have to ACT to say I'm fine.
I have to ACT to smile, and say everything's alright.
And mostly, I have to lie.
I hate lying to L'ove.
But he doesn't seem to be happy when I'm upset.
So I have to be.
Sigh, I really don't know what to do now.
How long will my new pretense last now?...
How long will my facade pull off?...

I promised myself, the last time, not to hurt anymore.
But I still did, & I still am.
Why does everything have to be so screwed?
L'ove, I really need you now...
But I don't know what to say...
Baby, how long will this last.

I shall probably end this here now.
Wanted to post a proper post of this whole week.
But it seems like I've lost the mood now.
I'm losing it, losing myself.
I gotta pull myself together...
Be strong.
L'ove, I need you.

Love,xoxo. back to top?

Its Saturday, gonna have tuition later in the afternoon.
Woke up at 1000 hours today, had the craziest dream of all times.
I think I've been watching too much horror shows, that's why.
GOD, and I don't know what is happening to me now.
Its like everything's a mess, including me.
I can't pick up the pieces I've left lying on the floor.
My heart seems so vulnerable, that it can't take any attack/impact at all.
It can just shatter into a million pieces anytime.
And later, when everything's alright, it'll just put on a facade.
To fix back itself, but it was...never alright.

Its time, I let go of the situation.
Love has no win or loss, everybody loses in the game.
If I should know,I would quit it.
But my strength would then rebuild to force me to go on.
But I don't know how to anymore, I don't know where to start.
Everyone's losing it, & I think I'm losing everything.
I can't seem to find everything back where they used to be.
I can't pick up the pieces.
I woke up this morning,feeling a sense of loss.
When I do know, that there's people caring for me all along.
I walked around the house, trying to figure out my next step.
But I have to choose, as I'm given an ultimatum.
I can't figure out, which way to go.
And everything's not where they are usually supposed to be.
I feel like a wreckage, a disappointment.
Hah, and I'm feeling pathetic right now.
I'm falling now.
I should really really stop this.
L'ove, tell me how.

I don't know if I can and should ask if I can go out today.
L'ove asked me out yesterday. He sounded kind of shy.
Hahs...I practically melted, cause he went rounds and rounds before asking.
But its at night, after evening.
I don't know if I can make it.
Sigh. I shall perhaps try.

I shall end off here.
Its 1040 hours now.
And I'm spoiling my stomach by not eating the three meals regularly, so yeah.
Ugh. I'm still feeling like a wreckage.
Why can't YOU just get out of my mind !!

Oh yes, yesterday's post, I was referring to two person.
YOU's one person...
you's another person...
Go figure, I'm not budging.

I can't stop thinking about what YOU are doing/thinking.
I don't know what to feel between you two.
It seems so much like a triangle, but YOU come telling me its untrue.
I do know, I can't see past your facade.
Its easy to see, as I'm a gurl too.
I don't know. It seems so wrong of YOU.
Yet I can't stop YOU from going to you.
I'm confused. I can't stop feeling jealousy!
There, I admitted it.
Psssssssht, I need help.
I don't seem to like YOU now.
I'm sorry, I want to.
But I can't seem to accept the facts.
I'll need time. But I don't think I'll ever be utterly convinced.
And I can't say anything to YOU.
I really don't know what to do...
Mend my broken heart.
L'ove, I need you.
Love,xoxo. back to top?

Its Friday, the end of another week.
I know that my blog's been dead since Sunday now.
But yeah, I'm sure there's no one interested enough to read my blog anyway.

This week's been a wreck.
I'm feeling really tired, stressed out, down.
Due to stuff here and there, pulling me down.
Ugh, I just don't understand YOU.
And I do trust you, but I can't seem to accept the facts.
GOD, I swear I'm going to turn into a wreck like a crazy woman if I continue like this.
Its taking me so long to be __________.
And I don't know why, I feel this way about YOU.

My own pretense's falling through, and I can see through YOURS too.
YOU should be thinking why I'm putting on a pretense.
Because I can't show anything that I want to anymore.
Because the more I do, the more I'll implicate things with you.
I'm confused now,pssssht. Go figure.

Blogger's totally screwed.
Don't know what the hell it'd ever be okay.
& I really don't know what to do.


If I said this, I would appear to be not keeping my promises.
But if I don't, I would also appear to be not keeping my promises.
Can you see my dilemma now ?
Sigh. Life gets so hard.
And I'm tired of being the last to know.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I can't be like what I used to do, jumping on the toes of my feet,
complaining about how I'd be feeling and you'd lend me your shoulder to lie on.
I can't do what I used to do, convince you with just pure words anymore.
Expectations gets higher, as life gets deeper.
Contemplate the future,
Forget the past,
Live the present.

Ah, I sound like a aged old person, trying to screw logic into one self's brain.
I can't even get my own life straight.
Perhaps this might be another failure I've made.
I know now, which position I stand in.
L'ove, I need you right now.
Need your comfort, need your whispers.
Need your hugs, need your shoulder.
Need your smile, need your warmth.
Fall into your arms now.

Love,xoxo.

P.S, I saw L'ove on TV on NDP <3 back to top?

And I could tell you,
Everything I've ever wanted was you.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAY, SINGAPORE ! :D

Its National Day people, so wake up !
Sorry, I'm just being random.
I've got nothing to do, so yeah.
Its 0849 hours in the early morning.
Haaaaaah, and the first thing in the morning,
when I looked out the window to the road, already saw people wearing red.
Haaaaaaaaah, I think Dad & I are going to be highhhhhh today.
Yesterday, we were already playing like fools, so yeah.
Today would probably be the same, and its an occasion today.
So yeah, I think he would be crazy, and then tagging me along.

Anyhooo, got so pissed off first thing in the morning.
Was typing a long message for L'ove as I promised to.
And I typed till the tenth message already, and was just one word from finishing and sending.
Then my whole phone jammed, and the whole thing was gone !
What the hell larhs, was cursing in the air.
Of course,not with those uncouth lauguage, rather with childish stufffff.
Was kicking the phone and had a thought of stamping on my phone.
And the message was the best I've typed so far.
Sigh, and I searched my phone over and over again, to see if it saved of something,
but it didn't.
And I spent the next 15 minutes re-typing whatever I could remember.
I typed till ten messages again :D

Currently, missing L'ove.
Oh man, this is super random.
I don't usually blurt out, but yeah.
I really do, and there's still one and a half more days to go to school.
Anyhooo, probably going to Malaysia tonight, till tomorrow.
Not confirmed yet, its only a maybe.
I wanna watch the NDP tonight ! But I can only watch it on TV.
Never mind, so yeahhhhhh.
Most likely watching it, hoping to catch a glimpse of L'ove :D

Oh yes, speaking of which, this is to L'ove :
Good luck & all the best in today's NDP !
Hahs, I'm sorry if I can't congratulate or accompany you after your parade.
Because I might not be around Singapore anymore.
But most likely, wherever I am, I'll be supporting you <3
Read the message ^^
Private contents :D
Hahs, iloveyou.
Have fun love.

I was like a pig yesterday.
Had nothing to do the whole day, and I was like eating and slacking.
Like, Eat. Watch TV. Eat. Play computer. Eat. Watch TV. Eat. Read. Eat.
Hahs, keep eating larhs.
Almost finished the whole box of chocolates I just bought yesterday.
It was left with only one quarter by night.
If L'ove knew this, he would be scolding me, hahs.
I'm hungry right now again.
I have seriously high metabolism.
Seriously, I can just have lunch and get hungry after 45 minutes, I'd say ?
Haha, and mum would be saying I'm crazy and stuff.

Aites, I've been having mood swings. Alot.
Okays, its not alot. Just occasionally.
Which is rare. I've not have them since like a few months ?
Sigh, gotta kick it. Its getting on my nerves.
Oh yes, I've watched 17 again yesterday !
Its super funny and nice !
Zac Efron is seriously hot, haha ^^
But he's gonna get engaged soon I guess, with Vanessa, so yeah.
All the best people.

Blogger's still the same-old,same-old.
Why oh why, can't it be fixed ?
Don't tell me I can't post pictures for the rest the year or stuff.
Sigh, let it be then.

I want to go shopping.
Haven't spent money on myself in ages !
Oh well, I think Dad's gonna spend on me anyway.
He promised me to buy me this bag I've been setting my eyes on :D
He won lottery, so yeah.
Loaded ass ^^
Haha, I even have a recording of him saying he promise to buy the bag for me !

Oh yes, speaking of Dad, he played a prank on Mum, Fiona & me yesterday.
Mum was in the toilet, washing her hands.
Then me and Fiona were in the room.
He pushed us both inside, and then he went inside too.
Then mum was like, what are you doing ?
Four people squeezing in a toilet.
Then Dad was, I have a secret to tell you all, listen.
Then he farted, straight in the face of us.
Super super funny, I tell you.
And it stank ! And he blocked the door, not letting us out.
Haha, mum was the last out of the toilet, cause Dad was hugging her and stufffff.
Haha, you don't wanna know. Anyways, me & Fiona ran out all the way till the kitchen.
The air never felt fresher before, I tell you.
This experience is tell us never to trust Dad.
Haha, and he was laughing his ass off at us, as I shouted through the house.
It was the dumbest thing I can shout lar,
But to accomodate with the situation, I shouted, " Japanese bombing through our house."
Okays, seriously lame. Haha.

Alrights, I wanna go read P.S. I Love You.
L'ove bought it for me on my birthday & I haven't even finished it yet !
Its really a funny, touching and sweet book ^^
Recommending you guys to read it !

& who's the passerby on my blog ?
Can you please put your name ?
I'm tired of playing guessing games.
Thanks alot, if you do.

Sigh, I miss the colours on my blog.
Now all my posts are dull.

& I miss you, L'ove.
Love,xoxo. back to top?

This is going to be a short post,
seeing that I've got nothing much to post.
& Blogger's officially screwed.

First off,

HAPPY 17th ANNIVERSARY L'ove ! <3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST ! :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR KENNY TAN ! :D

May all your wishes come true ! ^^

Its the 17th anniversary L'ove.
Last long <3
Thanks for everything yesterday :D
Really really touched.
Hahs, iloveyou.

I shall go off now.
Love,xoxo. back to top?

I couldn't see where I was going,
Till you came along.


I decided to post photos.
But of course, BLogger's screwed up.
When the hell is is ever gonna get fixed ?!
Anyhoooo, I shall just try PhotoBucket.
Give me a second yeahs.

Okay, the thing doesn't work too.
So yeah, I'll just post it some other time,
when it works alright.

The second post of the day, I'm seriously bored.
Sigh, I miss L'ove. Alot. Head Rush.
Why am I suddenly feeling this physic drive.
Maybe because I've been sticking with you for so long <3
Sigh. I seriously am lovesick right now.
I think he's suffering the same illness as me,
like he said ^^
Baby,iloveyou <3
Love, xoxo. back to top?

This serrated pain,
tugging at my wounds.


Its 1741 hours on a Friday evening ! :D
Probably going out later, with family to eat buffet or something I think.
I think I shall post a proper post right now, or not I won't be sure,
when I would have the time again, hahs.
Anyhoooooo, here goes :

030809`Monday.

Had swimming lessons today.
Went to the deep pool, almost drowned.
Haha, not because I wanted to ! Its because I choked on the water,
while laughing with Sihui. Pssssssssht, then I pulled her.
I'm so sorry ! I didn't mean to, but I don't know what to do.
Anyhoo, had cramp after that, and then stopped awhile,
then swim again later, and it ended.
Went to slack with L'ove, he was so sweet.
We were mad at each other before that, about some silly things.
But he made promises, so yeah :D
Hahs, everything's okay already.

040809`Tuesday.

Had Mother Tongue Oral todaye.
Thought I'd screw it up, hahs.
I practically just said sort of in the answers, I think.
Two out of like four questions ?
Haha, the teacher was laughing at my hesitation, pssssssssssht.
Anyhoo, after that went for physical training.
Had fun, but was super tiring.
Saw L'ove after that, he went home.
He couldn't wait for me as he had something on.
Hahs, its okay anyway :D He's so cute larhs.

Oh yes, BIG BIG News people.

CONGRATULATIONS SHI HAU & SHILI ON PATCHING AFTER SO LONG ! :D
Hope you guys last longggggggg yeahs, don't make the same mistake.
Good luck loves <3

050809`Wednesday.

Stayed back with L'ove to slack today.
Had no F&N so slacked in class.
L'ove had F&N, as his teacher in charge came.
Mdm Warda din't come, so the even number group didn't have.
He was so good, cook already, then leave for me <3
Haha, but we shared after that, so yeah.
It was so fun, I was trying to make him do his Math.
While he was trying to resist the temptation of playing Takraw.
I played Netball for a while in the earlier parts.
Anyhoooo, he's so cute.
He tried to sneak to play Takraw while I went to change in the toilet.
Haha, but I asked Priscilla to look.
She shouted when he left his seat, haha.
So funny lar. Anyhooo, went off to slack at some nice place with him,
then shared KFC & went home.
Awesome <3

060809`Thursday.

Felt jealousy today, alot alot.
& Its been a long time since I felt this way.
And the reason is ?
Because as I flipped through L'ove's inbox, saw some stuff from....
Hahs, and he was trying to see what would be my reaction as I read the msges.
Anyhoooooo, he convinced me, though there was a small argument.
Sigh, its been a long time since I felt this way.
& now, when I've felt it, its hard to stop thinking and feeling it.
Ugh, and it hurts so much, dang it.

Anyway,Had training today.
L'ove had council rehearsal and also the TPSS NDP thingy.
Saw him march with the flag while the band played.
Aw, he looked so funny larhs.
Played with coach, as stated in the previous post.
^^ Almost forgot I already posted about Thursday.
Re-read people ! I'm lazy to re-type.
Haha, xD
Okays, L'ove waited for me after training after that.
Then we went to the interchange.
He had to rush, cause he had tuition, but he din't tell me.
He claims he wants to wait,hahs.
Thanks <3
Saw his brother, and they went home.
Left my shoebag with Haziq, and he went to Macs.
Dang it ! Had to take it on Friday then.

070809`Friday ; Today <3

Had National Day celebration today.
Couldn't see L'ove march, but heard him.
Anyhoooooo, felt sad today.
Jealousy, Anger, teared. It felt hurting and stuff.
But resolved it all out after that.
Hahs, felt so good after that.
Utterly convinced right now, though there might be doubts at times :D

Went with L'ove after that.
Hahs, so touched today.
He cooked for me ! :D Heeees, and then we shared the maggee.
Cause that's the only thing that's easy and good to cook.
And I felt like eating it.
Anyways, so yeah.
Wanted to help him, but he didn't want me to.
Forced me to sit in the living room to wait :D
Anyhooooo, after that,we played and stuffffff.
And then he dressed up, preparing to go out as I needed to go too.
He's going to Clarke Quay to collect something for his dad.
Hahs, helped him chose his shirt, nice ehs xD
Hahs, saw him in the bus as my bus passed his :D
Sigh, I miss L'ove right now.
And its been only two hours, sigh.
Alright, I shall go off & concentrate on messaging L'ove <3
Heeeees, Oh yes.

HAPPY ADVANCED 17th MONTH L'OVE ! :D
Last longgggggggg, hahs.
Rule book in control ! <3
You've made a promise, no, You've made promises <3
iloveyou.

Its our anniversary tomorrow, hahs.
Awesome, this long wait.
Hahs, iloveyou B <3
What shall we do tomorrow ?

Alright, I'm off.
Gotta make plans, and should be going out already.
Love, xoxo. back to top?

I can see it in your eyes,
you feel the same way about us as I.


Its Thursday, and I'm posting, which is quite a miracle.
I feel tired of my blogskin, I'm deciding if I should change it.
But Blogger's not helping anyway.
I can't even view my blog ! Or any other people's blog.
Nevermind, hope it gets better, like tmr or the weekends or something.
Its the 6th of August, and yes, I've missed posting out alot of things.
I shall update everything once I really really have the time,
to post a proper post :D

Had training today, was tired, but super high.
Hahs, played with coach alot :D
Couldn't train much today, sort of slacked today I think.
Because of the rehearsal for the band and the marching of the uniform groups.
L'ove was there, marching. Looking awesome as usual xD Haha.
Played with Debbie passing, super super fun larhs !
Twisted here and there, haha.
She throw high ball, I jump here and there like some crazy ass :D
I love it <3 Crazily in love with passing high balls.
Then I almost interrupted the rehearsal, cause I missed one of the high balls.
Hahs, then Mr Sharmal, or something, (sorry! Don't know how to spell his name),
was looking at me with this smug look.
Then I said sorry, in this weird tone, hahs.
Then he play back. I think we stood there for a few seconds repeating what we say to each other.
Haha, anyhoo, after that played shooting. I sucked =X
Seriously, I can't seem to shoot in much goals as I used to.
Due to some distractions, and of course, why am I not surprised Hannah would be teasing me.
Like she could do it any better xD Haha, whatever.
Played court game after that, using the weird & small court.
After that, went home, was sweating like a mad dog :D
L'ove waited for me till training ended, so good <3

Reached home at about 8 plus, ate & showered.
Feel like these few days had been rushing around alot.
Feel that my schedule's so hectic larhs.
Anyway, that's life I guess.

Tomorrow's the celebration for National Day.
Gotta wear red shirt, but I don't know if I have any suitable ones.
Because the last year one is like, big I guess.
But I'll just have to fit it, I think.
Or I'd be left with no other choices.

I guess I shall end off this post here.
I'm tired, and I promised L'ove to rest early today, or he'd not friend me.
Haha, I feel so much like a kid.
Alrights, till here then peeps ! :D
Love, xoxo.

// I'm sorry. back to top?

I don't know what I can do anymore,
Because I'm falling each time I try.


The above words are really true.
I really don't know what I can do anymore.
I feel like giving up so much.
I'm so tired of this long run, and I'm slowing down.
But if I really do give up, I'm giving up what I've been protecting and fighting for,
for over a year.
Whether its pain, or laughter, or torture, everything's been there.
I really don't know what to do.
I'm in a dilemma.
Each time I try harder, each time I go higher, I'd be pulled down.
I'd be hurt, and fall deeper each time.
How long must this go on before you understand?
I need you, but what am I supposed to do?
Baby, perhaps its time I let go... back to top?

I've been running my whole life,
Its time I stopped.


I've never felt so empty and alone before.
I feel as if I'm losing everything I ever have right now...
We're alright. We're going to be okay.
iloveyou

I'm sorry Lesmin. For everything you're angry at.
It just came up in the conversation.
I apologise, and I'm sincerely sorry.
Really sorry.

I'm such a failure.
I can't perfect anything.
I'm taking my last try and giving up.
I fail in everything I do and in every role I play.
I'm sorry to all.
I'm just another failure, just another failure... back to top?

All we're doing now is building walls,
and now there's too many barriers.


1057 hours, Saturday.

Blogger's still not okay, I guess.
I doubt it'll ever be okay, if the people are even trying to fix it.
I know my blog's been dead, so yeah.
I haven't been using the com these days, so I can't really update yeahs.
Been staying out late in school these days, and reaching home late.
Either due to CCAs, swimming lessons, projects & stuff.
Shall start posting about the week I guess.

280709`Tuesday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATIKAH!
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE.

Had training today, Physical training.
Tiring like hell, did 2.4km, arm strength, Medicine balls, etc.
But I guess its better then last week. Didn't feel as tiring as before.
Think that my stamina has improved, in a way.
Anyways, got thoroughly wet after training.
Belated birthday splash.
The netball girls were chasing us around with their bottles and wetting us.
And Haziq and the other guys were dumping water on us too.
Changed afterwards, but didn't help much because our, insides were still wet.
And then the shirt had the water and stuff.
Bus-ed home with Azlan & Rasyid.
The two horniest asses I've ever seen.
Chatted, laughed, joked.
Reached home, was super tired already.
And had to bring the flour baby to and fro.
Hahs, I kinda care for her.
Her name's Xena, found the name unique =)

290709`Wednesday.

Something happened to Mistika on that day.
I regret it, seriously.
I know its my fault, but you and Zuhree just don't blame me.
Stayed back with L'ove in class to do up my Flour Baby.
Aw, it looks so cute after that !
L'ove's so sweet too, helping me bring and wrap her and stuff.
After that... Shall not elaborate.
Its a secret between, L'ove, Mistika and Zuhree xD
L'ove had to go off afterwards, so yeah.
Walked with Mist & Zuhree to the interchange.
Bus-ed with Mist home.
Reached home quite late, but was lucky.
Mum just stared at me, but after that, its okay.
Xena looks simply adorable in her made-up bed =)

300709`Thursday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN OR!
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE.

I miss my fringe, sigh.
Put it down on Wednesday, but I looked retarded.
I don't know how much longer must I put it up till it grows longer.
L'ove was debating with me about my hairstyle today.
He's so cute <3
Had training today.
Coach came. Trained skills.
And then played court games.
Think that we played quite well today.
L'ove tried to wait for my till my training ended, but he couldn't.
Thanks for trying anyway.
Went home, ate and studied.
Super tiring these days.
Have the urge to go swimming on Friday with Dad.

310709`Friday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARTIN NAI!
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE.

School was boring today.
Except for Literature.
Mistika, L'ove and my flour baby got selected by Miss Zhou.
Along with Amelia and Amanda's, and etc.
Hahs, so cute larhs.
Carried Xena down to her table and then went off with L'ove.
Came back to school at around 2 plus.
Cabb-ed back again.
L'ove was disappointed I guess.
Anyway, he had NCDCC after that, so I played Netball with Celine & Debbie.
Debbie went off after that, leaving Celine, me and Priscilla.
Played for awhile, and Atiqah & Siti came.
Played, slacked.
Then went off to KFC with Celine and Priscilla.
Ate, gossiped :D
Then after that, went home.
Had a fun time with them, hope that we can do it again =)

Reached home at around 1830 hours.
854 broke down on the way, but I took 325 back afterwards.
Luckily, it was just behind, or I'd be late for dinner.
After that, slacked, used the laptop.
Terrible stuff happened.
Calamity.
Sigh, finally cried on my bed, as I could no longer hold back my tears.
I think Arin, my mum and dad saw that my eyes were red.
I was trying to pretend to be normal.
But i couldn't.
Sigh, they saw through my pretense I guess.
I passed it off as though I was very tired.
Went to sleep early, couldn't sleep though.
Woke up dozen of times. Could not sleep.
I'm tired right now, but I don't want to close my eyes.
And see those images flashing across them again.


010809`Saturday.

August, a new month.
Will there be a new start ?
Three more days to Kenny's birthday.
I haven't bought a present for him yet.
I don't even know if I have money.
I know I do, but I want to buy this hundred-dollar over bag.
Dad's paying half for me too, so yeah.
I don't know what to buy for a guy like him too.

Will probably be stuck at home today.
I feel like going swimming, or going jogging.
Either one, I simply need distractions to rub off the pain.
So absent-mindedly, I'll forget for a couple of hours.
And continue my pretense in front of my family.
& when I'm alone, the pain would start rubbing in and start killing me.
Let it be, Let me be.
Let everything fall.
I need you, but you aren't here anymore.


I don't know what to say.
I don't know how I can hold on any longer.
We're trying and pretending so much, anyone can see through our pretense.
You're being so careful with your actions, I'm being so careful with my words.
Will this last ? Will we last ?
I want you to be happy. I haven't thought about what I'll be.
If I asked you to leave me, because it might make you happier, would you ?
Everything seem to be back where we started from, and I can't seem to face it.
I can't seem to face my heart, what its telling me to do right now.
I know that both of us is hurt, and its all already numb.
Is it tiring ? Was this meant to be ?
Do you regret, would I forget ?
Past,Present, Future.
Everything matters.
Baby, there's 7 days left, till a new start.
So what are we to do, with where we are standing now ?
Should we make a decision, or should we continue building walls ?
We're so used to pretending, will this be new ?
I really don't want this ending.
I don't want you to change.
I want you / us to be happy.
& Everything I've ever known, would be meaningful.
Because you were there.
♥,xoxo. back to top?