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♥ Florence, over-hyperactive. I (L) eating chocolates, and I'm a klutz,as well as a trouble-maker :D I'm fourteen, and July the 15th would be awesome. I love being cheeky and childish. That's the part of me that'll never grow up. I have a mind of a five-year-old and I love putting a smile on people's faces. So if you're down, I'm always here. Netball's my passion, and I'm loving it. I'm hoping for fairytales and miracles to happen ^^. I may be naive at times, but you can't cheat me. Currently attached with baby♥, and still counting on. I'm tremendously spontaneous and hyperactive most of the times. I love sweet things, they simply melt my heart. Equal Equation, L'ove.

I would have given you all of my heart,
but there's someone whose torn it apart.

It hasn't been the most ideal week of the holidays that I expected. Sorry for the lack of update, been busy with trainings, outings and stufffffs. It feels like one of the longest week I've had for now. Hah...I thought this holiday would be great, and everything would turn out right, but I was proven wrong again.

I don't know what to blog, basically. I don't know if I should just vent all my frustrations here, 'cause it doesn't seem appropriate to say the things here, about the current situation we're in, that I'm in.

I feel depressed, upset, frustrated, jealous, incompetent, emotional, and everything else. Like the whole world's crashing down, and all I have is just myself to face the things, that could be my worst nightmares. Where promises get broken, and hearts gets shattered, and it feels like you're walking on glass pieces. I feel like I'm a roller coaster ride, and its going faster and faster, without letting me catch my breath. And everything around me feels so broken and jagged, that hurts you alot. I feel like I'm a merry-go-round, getting spinned round and round like I'm used. My heart's lost, my burning desire's gone, the future seems bleak, my trust's broken, my heart's in a million pieces, my faith's gone. Tears are shed, because the truth always hurts.

I feel so wrong, like I don't belong. I don't know if I should stay...or I should leave... I feel so confused, and I feel so...frustrated at times. What's the real source of the problem, I really don't know. I've done everything that I'm able to, and I've even done things that are out of my range for you. But I really don't know what you want, what you expect. Is all of this not enough? I feel so frustrated, 'cause you make me feel so incompetent, make me feel so useless towards other people who you show interest in. I feel at lost, bring me back, will you? Tell me, what you want, what I'm supposed to do. Because, I'm losing faith, and I'll break.

I haven't have the guts to say alot of things...'Cause I don't have the heart to hurt you. Cause I know the truth always hurts. You always ask me why, I don't tell you how I really feel. This is the reason why. I'm a person, who avoids things that I think / might hurt another. I really don't have the heart to, even if I really want to, even if the opposite's my enemy. I can't. I'm a coward, if people put it more in a way of speaking, I am. I avoid things that I think might hurt. I avoid to believe in myself, which makes me more guillable, 'cause I'd rather trust others, when I know so much that perhaps I shouldn't. I don't stand up for myself, I can't. I can't vent out my feelings by shouting at another, 'cause I'd end up crying. I'd rather take the blame, then shout out how I really feel. I keep my feelings to myself, 'cause I feel that its wrong to say, or tell others how I feel about them. I'm afraid to tell the truth, 'cause I'm afraid that, the other might cry. I'm afraid to hurt the other, 'cause my heart would start blaming myself, and I would feel indebted to that person. I'm afraid of saying the wrong things, 'cause I'm afraid it might exacerbate things. I'm afraid, to give my own opinions, 'cause I have no confidence in myself, that it would be work-able, or good. This is how I am, now you know. You realise, I always don't vent out my feelings, face-to-face, do you ?


Its been 10 days since I last posted. I shall update more if I have the time. Because now, I really don't have the mood to. I feel like everything would come crashing down soon enough. I'm not strong enough, I know that. I can't take the blows that are coming to me, soon enough. I don't understand the mechanics of life and love, 'cause its really complex. Well, I don't know if I don't know, but yeah. I've lost everything I have, sacrificed everything I have to love.I gave you my heart, But now, what do I get in return? I. DON'T. UNDERSTAND. I feel frustrated and upset, bottom line.
I love you, don't do this to me.
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