♥ , Don't go.

Sunday, August 10, 2008 @ 8:53 AM

70th post.
Gloomy day.
Tsktsk,
or should I say,
I'm in a gloomy mood larhs.
I'm listening to the song again,
over and over again.
But I'm never tired of it,
and I dunno why.
You're the remedy I'm searching hard to find.
To fix the puzzle tat I see inside.
Painting all my dreams the colour of ur smile,
when I find you,
it will be a rhyme.
I nid to try to get to where you are,
could it be,u're not tat far.
You're the voice I hear inside my head,
the reason tat I'm singing,
I nid to find you,
I gotta find you.

I dunno if I should be happy or sad.
Cos I don really understand wads really going on,
can't keep track of things.
My smile is so fake,
as fake as a mask.
I nid to force myself to smile at home,
jus so they won't ask much questions.
The moment I'm alone,
the smile totally fades,
the tears immediately keeps flowing.
I dunno the decision,
cos u're still explaining.
Could this really be the end?
I don understand,
I really don.
Jus because of this,
and we're falling apart.
Please,
no matter wad,
I never ever thought of stopping.
But it seems lyk u couldn't take the risk anymore...
I can't sleep,
I can't really eat,
I can't think,
I can't smile,
and I can't even talk properly.
I don noe which direction to look at now.
The possibilities...
The negatives...
I dunno...
The answer in my heart,
its the same.
I'm willing to take the risk,
but will you?
I told u I'll be ur shield,
but then again,
perhaps it sounds lyk its a joke.

Iloveyou;
and my answer has never changed.
Aft ups and downs,
aft all we've been through,
this freaking storm,
it is gonna put us apart?
I'm searching the answer deep inside me.
Perhaps stopping will help you,
u'll be "free" of all those pressure,
perhaps u'll be happy?
My peers say tat why am I the one who always sacrifice for others,
but not me.
I nvr answered them...
Becos I noe the answer myself...
I noe tat its becos i love him,
I'd rather sacrifice and get myself hurt,
rather then him.
Am I doing too much?
Maybe not...
Boy;
I love you.
I've got so much things to ask,
yet I dunno where to start.
I love you boy...
always.

I miss you,
and the feeling's taking control.
iloveyou.