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 Friday, May 29, 2009 @ 9:26 AMI'm so afraid, of everything going wrong.
Because I had never once thought of going seperate ways,
back to top?
but only of the picture of you and me together. But perhaps what's going to happen today , might prove something. It might prove me wrong, or perhaps prove me right. I've always been living in my dreams, but this thing shoke me awake. So what am I supposed to do, when its time for me to leave you? What am I supposed to say, when they ask about what got in the way? How am I supposed to cope, when the pain comes and go for days? What am I supposed to do, as I see us going on seperate ways? 0931 hours. Emotional day. I know, I said yesterday's post would be my last post. But I forgot that I still had time this morning to post. I'm waiting for something... Something to come along right now. Hoping for miracles to happen, but I know that they won't. 1350 hours... would be the time that the conversation hundred miles away would start. Of course, I wouldn't know what would happen, what would be said. I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping that nothing would happen. People keep telling me that everything would be okay, but of course, I appreciate that and thank you. But I know, its just for comforting me, to make me feel better. Because no one knows what would happen... If everything ends badly, everything would be lost of course. I wouldn't know what would happen. Perhaps there would be cold shoulders at home everyday, and so I would be all alone. And I would probably spend most of my time crying in the bedroom, letting the pain overwhelm me. And then, my phone would be confiscated, and there would be limited hours outside. My dad would be mad and angry at me, for disobeying him. My mum would come and try to comfort me, telling me that it isn't time. My brothers would not help me, except for leaving me in my own misery. Kenny would probably ignore me till the whole thing blows over. He would be standing on my parents's side, and keep asking and telling me stuff. My sister would be set on my misery, she would enjoy the show. She would use this chance to tease me, as far as it can go. I...would probably not speak for days, with the pain showing on my face. I would probably lose my appetite, lose everything I have so far. He would probably in trouble once again, and I would be guilt-ridden for the rest of my life. If things ends in a happy ending, everything would be back to normal, I guess. My parents would probably just be fussing over my results. Every night there'll be laughter at the dining table, with my dad and me cracking up as many jokes as possible. My mum would join in when she's in the mood. After that, my brothers would all laugh happily. My sister would still be as ignorant as ever, and we would argue as well. I would lose my bets to two people for things turning out to be good =) And I would probably be happy as ever, and continue living in my dream. I would also, probably be busy planning for the holidays, and enjoying camps. Of course, not to forget, people would tell me 'I told you so.' ... The least I can do now is to wait and see, where fate would bring me, us. I sound so emotional now, which is so unlikely of me. But I can't see any sense now, of course. Can't see where the road is going, its like its going nowhere. My heart feels so empty, I feel so dead. Miserable, really. Probably going out with Diana, Fion and Shauna tomoro. If things don't screw up today. I really really hope that everything would be okay.. Alrights, I shall go off.. Making myself sad won't help when things go wrong. I'm trying my best alr =) If I lose everything once more, perhaps there wouldn't be another chance. I'm sorry if I've put you in a difficult position. I really am... iloveyou, but am I going to lose you? |
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